A New Record.

We got the stupid brief filed last night. Unfortunately, the Federal Court exclusively uses an e-file system, which makes the deadline midnight on the due date rather than when the courthouse physically closes at 4:45 p.m.

I left work at around 12:25 this morning and got home just after 1:00. I caught a few hours of sleep and got up at 7:30 to come back to work. As I was drinking coffee with my dad this morning at 8:15, he said, "I thought you were going in late this morning."

"I am," I said.

No Regrets.

I've been obsessing lately about making career choices. I don't want to realize in ten years that I have sacrificed important moments with my friends and loved ones for my job. The job will be there tomorrow. My friends and family may not be. There may not be another holiday dinner with the Group. There may not be another chance to visit an elderly relative - I learned that the hard, painful way when my grandfather passed away. Aside from unbelievable grief, regret was the most overwhelming feeling I had (which probably fueled my grief to some extent).

The Office had an outing last week to see "The Devil Wears Prada." While I enjoyed the movie and thought it was funny, parts of it hit a nerve with me. I don't want to be the girl that no one can count on anymore because she's a workaholic. I already feel I've let down so many people this summer. So many times I've had to postpone my weekend trips to visit the Beef in Little A-Town. So many dinners I've had to bail on with my dad. This summer, I have been That Girl.

On Monday, I put my foot down and put myself and my friends ahead of my job. My best friend from high school, K, graduated from college, and I promised I'd be there. I told the Boss I had to leave at noon to be at an important event for a friend. We have a major brief due this week, but I left work in time to get to the graduation. It felt so good to be there for K on such a big occasion. For one day, I was no longer That Girl. For one day, my friends trusted me. For one day, I had no regrets.

I Confess, You Came Because of Me.

The last few days have been absolutely delightful. I mean, who doesn't like putting in half a week's worth of hours in two days? Monday I worked until almost 9 o'clock because a very demanding client had to know rightthissecond whether he could fire an employee covered under the ADA for performance-related issues.

Aside from the underlying legal issue, my real question was, "Who the hell fires someone at 7 o'clock on a Monday night?" That's just asking for an office shooting, I say. There are even studies showing that firing someone on Friday greatly decreases the chances of retaliation on the part of the ex-employee.

But, there's nothing like half-off bottles of wine at Osteria 832 on a Tuesday night to erase the week's troubles. This might become a tradition.

Quarter-Life Crisis

Perhaps it comes as a surprise that I am seriously considering not practicing law, and instead pursuing my masters degree after I get my J.D. To those who know me, however, you know that it's been a long time coming.

I have been talking to my friends and hearing about their awesome summers at big firms, and I must admit that I am a bit jealous. They get assignments to do, but they also get taken to lunch everyday and they get to use the firm's box seats at Turner Field. They get to interact with so many different people on a daily basis.

I know that I could have landed one of those jobs if I'd either 1) stayed at my First Law School and interviewed there, or 2) made my transfer decision earlier so that I would have been able to participate in Early Interview Week at PDSEU. Instead, my indecisiveness bit me in the ass and I missed out on all the cherry jobs.

Instead, I am working for a solo practitioner where I have real deadlines and work on real cases. While that may sound well and good, it actually puts me under immense pressure that I don't feel like I am prepared for. I'm not a lawyer. I'm a law student.

After being lulled into a sense of contentment at my current job, I decided not to go to the firm that had offered me a job for the second half of the summer. Mostly because I don't have to be at the office at 7:30 a.m. here and can occasionally bring T.Min. to work with me. I mailed them a letter declining their offer, which was probably not good, considering I'd previously accepted. Then, things took a turn here and suddenly felt trapped, thinking that I'd sent that letter just a few days too early. Timing - it always sucks.

If anything, this summer has been educational in showing me the reality of practicing law. Perhaps that's better than working at a big firm in some respects, beceause I get to see the shitty parts of it in addition to the good parts of it so that I can make an informed decision about my career choice. I have more or less decided that while I definitely have the ability to be a lawyer, and a good one at that, I don't necessarily want to.

For so long I had thought that the law was my calling. And I don't hate the law, or even law school for that matter. I love both. It's the practice of law and the reality that goes along with it that have so far left a sour taste in my mouth.

In light of all of that, I have been seriously pursuing the idea of going to graduate school after I finish law school. I want to get my masters in a program where I can get strong methodology training so that I can go into research consulting. I loved doing research when I was in college, and I even wrote a thesis that was not required. I enjoyed constructing surveys and measuring and calculating and analyzing. There is something inherently academic in it that is lacking in the practice of law.

I've gotten in touch with my college advisor, who is now teaching at a big state university in Tornado Alley. She has a wealth of information about graduate admissions and procedures and even volunteered to chat on the phone, given the complexity and number of questions I posed to her. Most importantly, she didn't think that I'm being silly or flighty. I appreciate the fact that she takes me seriously and doesn't think I'm absurd for wasting three years of time and tuition on law school.

So that's where I am at this point. I will graduate from law school. I will take the bar and pass the bar and be sworn in at the Capitol. But I will also take the GRE and apply to graduate school and see where I get accepted and go from there. And ultimately, this all may lead to an entirely new adventure for me, one that I welcome.

Lesson #57

No matter how much confidence you may have in your abilities, do not attempt to complete school work from Spring semester after you have already started your summer clerkship.

This is doubly true when you have a 30-page paper due the same week as a reply brief in federal court. Choosing between an F and malpractice is simply not a feasible option. Staying up until the wee hours of the morning when you have to work in a couple of hours, however, is an option. The only option, it appears.

But What if I WANT to Bite the Hand That Feeds Me?

I should be billing hours to a client in Texas, land of the tiny ex-boyfriend, but instead I'm blogging. Excellent. I'm going to make a fabulous lawyer.

Today is my second day at my first summer job. I'm currently working in my boss' living room instead of my normal office space. That's because Financial Lady is here. FL is a cross between Paula Deen and Hitler and comes in on Tuesdays to do bookkeeping and other accounting, non-lawyer type things. She is very Southern and also very territorial and abrupt. I think I overheard her bitching about something on her -- now MY -- desk being out of order.

The Boss was gone when FL got here, and FL immediately flew into a tizzy because HER STUFF wasn't in HER BOX like it usually is. Or something. I called and left The Boss a voicemail. I offered to call The Boss' legal assistant (who is down in the Americus office) to see if she knew precisely what was going on. This is the response I got from FL: "SHE won't know where it is! SHE'S in AMERICUS!" Whoa there, FL. See if I ever offer to be helpful again. Especially considering it's not my job to be the secretary. That's what Secretary is here for.

But, sure enough, FL came in after trying to call Legal Assistant and told me she'd gotten some weird automated message. Not only am I not the secretary, I am also not the phone expert. The Ex-MLB Phone Guy lives behind The Boss' house. Go talk to him. Or, in the alternative, learn how to correctly dial a long-distance telephone number. I messaged Legal Assistant and she called the office to talk to FL rather than explain to FL how to call her. Maybe while she was at it she explained the joys of modern technology to FL.

I can't really cross FL because she is the one who cuts the paychecks, after all. I think that next Tuesday I'll encase her office supplies in Jell-O, a la "The Office." Or maybe I'll just rearrange everything on MY desk Monday night before she commandeers it again.

I received some questions from people who are thinking about going to law school. I'll post my answers sometime when I get a chance, after I've finished the two (yes, TWO) papers I have left to finish for this semester.