Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Yup, I checked, it's still there.

MPRE results came out the other day, and I am proud to say that I am sufficiently ethical to practice in any jurisdiction. Clearly, the answer to any question asking, "Your friend, Lawyer Alpha, is sleeping with his client. What should you do?" is "Throw your buddy under the bus by ratting him out. Then go snort a line of nose candy that you purchased with a client's retainer fee in the bathroom." That's just how we lawyers-to-be roll.

Yesterday, I was supposed to take my final exam in the 6-week, 1-credit Medical Malpractice class I took this semester. It is an entertaining way to spend two hours a week (if you have to be in class) and, more importantly, is notoriously easy. The exam is entirely taken from handouts that are passed out each week.

I blew off Evidence to study at Jittery Joe's all day. I seem to focus much better with no Internet access and an IV hookup of coffee, go figure. I took all the handouts and put the information into an outline, hoping that I'd learn it through typing and organizing it. It worked, sort of.

Well, we showed up to the exam and one of the professors (a local trial attorney) had sent one of his associates to give the exam. (Sidenote: This is totally cool, and when I am a partner, I will absolutely send my associates to do my dirty work for me on a regular basis. The more ridiculous, the better. "Go walk my dog on your lunch break. And don't forget to pick up the poop. No, not with your hands, with a bag. But if you're not smart enough to figure that out, maybe I should make you use your hands.") Here's roughly how it went down:

Round 1: About 30 exams get passed out. There are at least 85 people in the class. Associate panics and runs to the library to make more copies. Lauren and I inconsiderately chatter about the bridesmaid who dropped out of her wedding while 30 people take the exam.

Round 2: Associate returns with more exams. About 30. Clearly not enough. Lauren and I just want to get this over with, but the exam-taking gods were not smiling upon us and we, of course, didn't get an exam. Associate panics, calls the remaining 25 people into the hall. He says he's going to run downtown to the copy shop where they actually have fast copiers, and he'll be back. He probably only knows where the slow copiers are because that's more time to bill to clients. Lauren and I walk to her apartment downtown to grab a snack. On the way back, we see Associate pacing back and forth outside the copy shop like a pissed off tiger.

Round 3: We get back to the classroom just as Associate gets back with the exams. We heard whispers about two makeup test dates. Associate is handing out exams. We bolt, our test-taking moment having passed for the day.

And so we'll try it again on Thursday. Hopefully I will still be able to remember everything I need to about expert witnesses and tort reform and filing affidavits.

I really felt bad for Associate. He clearly got thrown into a terrible situation, and tried very hard to remain cool under pressure. I personally think that his boss was testing him to see how well he could perform when put in a situation like that. Sadistic, yes. But better to learn the importance of attention to detail while proctoring a slacker law school class rather than in court.

2 comments:

Marilyn (& PotPie) said...

So, I check in to let you know, E, that your latest entry had me laughing at my desk and thanking God that I'm past test-taking and not the grunt of some partner at a law firm. But I get here and find that Sara has said almost the exact same thing!! It's like she and I are mental twins or possess some sort of ESP that we're not aware of. She TOTALLY gets you!! Suddenly, I don't feel so alone in the world!!

Law School Transplant said...

Thanks for the comment, M!

Good to know at least one person out of the 6 billion on the planet reads my lil' blog!